tee shirt ideas and resources

Beards - They Grow On You T-shirt

by Tom Warin

Beards - They Grow On You T-shirt
(BustedTees)

I only grow a beard during the winter months, when the cold, dry New England air makes shaving an irritating process.

Come the first day of spring, I fetch out the clippers and remove the excess hair in preparation for the warmer months ahead.

I've noticed that when I have a beard, I do everything much better than when I do not. I brew better beer. I write better code. I'm smarter, faster and can leap small puddles in a single bound.

I'm far more attractive. My writing is almost grammatically correct. I cook better food and bake better bread. I hesitate to use the word "Superman", but I think it's only appropriate in this case.

If I am so much more puissant when bearded, why do I not wear the beard all year round?

There is a dark side to the beard, alas. It does result in a certain level of evil. It starts small: just a slight increase in egomania. My witty asides start to become sarcastic, then mean, then cruel.

By the time winter is winding to a close I'm full-on, take over the world, crush all who stand before me, fire up the giant robots, tell you your sister is pretty, borrow your rake without asking, evil.

I suspect that the beard is a separate creature that just happens to live on my face. As it grows, it exerts more and more power over me. This Beards - They Grow On You T-shirt from the symbiotic entities at BustedTees illustrates the process quite effectively.