BOFH T-shirt
by Kiwi
(Doylestown, PA, USA)
BOFH T-shirt
(Zazzle)
Threats? We don’t do threats. We just destroy your puny little files. After all, users are the prime cause of outages.
If there aren’t any users in the building (say, because we’ve locked all the electronic card swipes so we can get an extra hour or three at the pub over lunch), then there aren’t any help desk calls. Ergo, the network is perfect. Outages are your fault. You deserve what you get.
If I need more space on the SAN for the latest Whitney Houston live album (quintuple disk, Blu-Ray), your files are toast. Yes, that includes the fifty page presentation you’ve been working on for the past three months that’s due for the CEO at your 8:00 tomorrow morning.
Don’t whine, I don’t care. Type fast. You did it once, you can do it again. You’re still whining? Your file share is slow now? Clicky-clicky... what file share?
Backups? Take too long and tape is a bad backup medium. Backup goes to DEV NUL. Can’t get much faster backups than that. Saves offsite storage costs, too.
I am the Bastard Operator From Hell. And you don’t have a chance. Bow in acquiescence and be satisfied I let you connect to my network.
