When all else fails, manipulate the data T-shirt
by Kiwi
(Doylestown, PA, USA)
When all else fails, manipulate the data T-shirt
(Zazzle)
Okay, everyone knows the saying there are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.
It’s true, too. You know what a statistician is? Someone who puts his feet in a bowl of ice and his head in an oven and says "On average, I feel fine."
Point being, if the professionals do it, you can too. Right? You know why statisticians invented the average AND the median? If you manipulate the data sufficiently, you know that somehow you’ll be able to get it to say what you want, just pick the right statistical explanation and you’re golden.
Numbers too high for what you want to prove? Stick in an anomalous lower data point, you’re sure to find one somewhere, and it’ll drag the average down. Done.
Want to prove all odd numbers are primes? 3, yep. 5, nice one. 7, so far so good. 9, umm that’s a statistical error. 11, great we’re back on track. 13, still a prime thank God...
See? Make up anything, get a really good statistician and he’ll happily show you how to manipulate the data to prove absolutely anything you want.
Just make sure you give him a big enough cut to keep quiet after you’ve gotten elected.
