You Have Died of Dysentery T-shirt
by Tom Warin
You Have Died of Dysentery T-Shirt
(Busted Tees)
A generation of schoolchildren in the United States discovered the harsh truth of life in the pioneer west by playing The Oregon Trail
They learned that trying to cross a river without a boat is a crap shoot at best, that the early pioneers all had silly names that sounded like various bodily functions, that buffalo are an unlimited resource to be plundered at will and that dysentery can strike without warning.
Although it was never made clear whether it was amoebic or bacillary dysentery.
Even today's high-profile game designers have struggled to match the thrilling gameplay that comes from trying to navigate a covered wagon down a series of white water rapids, or the intense immersion that comes from imagining a pixelated pioneer called Phart literally pooping himself to death. The best thing about all of this? It's educational, that's what!
Since nostalgia for everything that came out of the 80s is now mandatory, you are required to purchase one of these beautiful You Have Died of Dysentery T-Shirts from those providers of all things infectious, BustedTees
.
Punishments for non-compliance vary from state to state, but in Oregon they infect you with dysentery.
Still not clear if it's amoebic or bacillary, though.
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